This wasn't meant to be written now (at least, not today) BUT as par usual, when it wants to be written, it just rushes out and here we are.
Even with the pandemic, restrictions and all, everyone appears to be getting married, so it's that season, right? Zoom, big, small and any manner, they are weddings sha. Congratulation to everyone on this journey and this is me sending everyone loving thoughts and the very best wishes. I love love sha 😉.
Marriage, life and the 'journey', all these, coupled with so many things (right now) and the BIG ONE (a celebration and a very happy one at that) 😉for me. Oya, say congratulations to us jare, it's been 23years for Dr.M and I. All I can honestly say is Wow!!!! As well as give thanks, for the Lord has indeed shown us (Dr. M, Tee, NerdyBemBem, ForgetmeKnot and Lexxy4rn/astrangebutterfly) mercy and in ALL, we give thanks.
Honestly peeps, marriage isn't a joke o! Mehn! Ko easy 😉.
The wedding and marriage are two very different 'roads'. According to someone, ‘getting’ married and ‘being’ married are two entirely different things. Tor! I remember my dad saying - The wedding is just the day, the actual marriage is a journey that you must be ready for (ermmmmm, dad, nothing prepares you for this journey biko. Let's just keep giving thanks in all situations sha).
On becoming Mrs....
I have seen, heard, read and 'rejected' so many things around as regards marriage and even me, sef, I would have been scared of the institution. Yes o. The spend, the Hype, the general 'effects' for that one (sometimes two, in some communties, seven) day. Laslas sha, the wedding go end, next step, the Marriage. Are you ready? Becoming a “Mrs.” is sooooo much about more than that one day. No wahala, eye go clear 😁.
Don't get me wrong o, biko... I looooove being married, yes. I do love it so much or maybe it's more about the person I am married too, he just helps that feeling (even when he's most annoying sha...)
For everyone it’s different depending on soooo many things: where you are from, how you grew up and so much more. Bottom line, you need to understand what works for you first as an individual and then as Mrs. Lagabaja. I say this because I realise some people think / believe YOU need or must be consumed or subsumed into the MRS. Did you forget that you were an individual before that day?
Truth, it's easier said than done as one could also just get swept up with / by the euphoria of becoming Mrs. that you just FORGET, YOU!
To make this work, you need to understand (like I said earlier), what works for you, that is, what does this Mrs. mean to me? Me, Myself and I alone. Them no go dey there after o.... They will go home to rest comfortably at home and leave you when the sh*t hits the fan.
Define you as Mrs. BUT not forgetting that, now, two have 'become one'. Marriage is basically a team sport 😉. We are both in this together (I remember the High School Musical soundtrack - We are ALL in the together. Team Spirit ni). Like I said, marriage is a journey, both our journey together, now and guess what. This here, is usually the biggest challenge / issue in most marriages. you need to find or strike a balance.
You BOTH need to a) Communicate, b) Show and have mutual respect for each other first and foremost and then for each other's goals, c) You need give each other room and the opportunity (where possible) to grow, d) Continuously work at making the marriage work - Yes. This here is the main koko, the biggest part to making it work.
This marriage thingy takes no prisoners and can sometimes feel stifling and unwielding BUT, see each other as a / the refuge. See each other as a/the rock for the other. See each other as a TEAM and only then can or will you be able to start, yes, start your journey to happy ever after 😁 (with all the expected ups and downs that you BOTH will face / surmount, TOGETHER).
💕 💕 💕